Another story

"Hey, you joining us for a weekend meet?" Ravish asked while I was leaving for the day. "Umm, maybe not. I will try." I replied and left. I knew the rest of the party crew won't lemme live in peace but I had just another day and I wanted it to end. But maybe it wasn't the end after all.

"Shruti?" I heard a voice calling me while I was booking a cab. "Yes?"

"I am Rishabh's friend. Rohan." I stared at him for a while.

"Umm, Rishabh's friend. Okay. Hi." I replied. My face might have reflected the perplexity I had on my mind. He took a few seconds to look at me and then took out a small box from his car and handed it.

"Your some stuff in there. Rishabh asked me to return it."

"Okay." I managed to say.

"Can I come tomorrow to your place to collect his things?" He asked. I had no reason to but I hated that question.

"Sure," I replied and hopped into the cab before Rohan could finish his sentence.

Yeah, Rishabh. Technically my ex. Who got bored suddenly after spending 2 years in a live-in relationship and left my apartment last week. Those were the few things that were helping me have some faith in love. Faith in a relationship. He's taking everything I have. Even the memories I had left with him.

"Shall I end the ride?" The cab driver asked, bringing me back to reality. "Yes". I replied, paid the driver, and went to my apartment. I threw my bag on the couch and opened the box. The watch I gifted him on his birthday, my mittens he kept with himself, a few letters I had written to him during my internship period in Bangalore.

"Wow! So that's what we will be doing lately." I said to my half gloomy apartment and to the silence. I don't remember how long I sat there. I got up and went to my bedside table. His note of departure was lying in the same manner he had left it. I read it again. Maybe for the 99th time now:

"Shruti,

I cannot live like this, in this relationship anymore. I feel suffocated and saturated. Please pardon me if possible. I have been meaning to tell you this since forever but it was too difficult confronting you. Hope you get a good life and a good partner.

Rishabh."

That's it. How well someone can summon an entire relationship in just five sentences? You wake up one day, decide it's not working, write a few words, move out, don't pick up the phone or text or reply. That's it. Everything's finish. So now his friend was gonna come and pick up his remaining essence from my house. Great.

I finally decided to let my heart and eyes pour out whatever they had been pushing inside for the past seven days. It takes time for the grief to feel. You ain't just sad. You are neither angry. You're just tired of dealing with the sudden flashbacks and the panic it brings.

I never realized when did I go into slumber. I woke with a throbbing head the next day and remembered that I ate almost nothing for the past 12 hours. I looked at the wall clock, it was almost 10. I got up, removed the curtains, just enough to cover the darkness, and tied my hair. While I went to the living room to pick up the returned box of belongings, the doorbell rang. My Goodness! Rohan was about to come to pick up his friend's stuff.

I opened the door. It was Rohan. "Hi, I..." I didn't hear a word he said. I went straight into my room, opened his cupboard, took out almost everything I got my hands on, and stashed everything in the same box Rohan gave me yesterday. Rohan came inside meanwhile and was looking at Rishabh's breakup note.

"Hmm" I looked at him. He kept the letter back on the table. I kind of threw the box towards him and locked myself in the bathroom. I don't know when he left but when I came out, I saw another note lying beside Rishabh's note.

"Hi, Shruti.

You will hate to listen to this. But you ain't the only one dealing with a breakup. It's no big deal. Stop saving his memories and things like some souvenir."

Oh yes, he bets. I hated him more than my ex. Why do people always want to preach? It's my choice however I wanna deal with it. I tore both the letters and tossed them in the bin.

I checked my phone. There were twenty missed calls from my coworkers and forty text messages convincing me to go the hangout. I replied to none. Later in the afternoon, I went to a cafe and found myself a comfortable corner.

I ordered a sandwich and a coffee and stared somewhere in the infinity. I am not sure if I was exactly jealous of the couples who entered with all smiling faces and giggling.

"Where exactly are we going wrong?" I remembered asking Rishabh once.

"Everything's going wrong Shruti, you are simply denying to accept it." He had said.

"Really. Elaborate then." I said

"Well for the starters, you always have to be the greater guy, the perfectionist and I know everything person." He had screamed.

I remembered taking a deep breath and asking, "So what exactly do you want me to do? To stop asking whatever you are up to and stop caring about everything we have. I am the only one trying hard to make things work and all that you have done is complain, That's it."

"Yes, that's what I am talking about." he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"He did the right thing. What's the point clinging onto for no reason?" I looked up. Rohan, yet again, standing in front of me and I couldn't control myself this time.

"Why are you following me? And have I asked you for your expert opinion? I can do whatever I want to. I will mourn when I want to, keep his things like souvenirs if I want to, or move on when I need to. I don't need you telling me. And you were right, I hated you telling me that." I got up and walked down all the way to my home. But instead of going to my home, I actually went to the office hangout.

People who knew inside the story sympathized and there we went again with 'Don't worry, you will find someone' motivation. What if people let the sufferer suffer in silence and just listened to them instead of blabbering.

The first weekend after a long long time I had spent only with myself. When I finally returned, I found a note sticking to my door.

"I didn't want to hurt you this bad. Rishabh's got someone for himself. Much before he left you. You don't deserve to stay like this. Is this motivating enough? Please, don't do this to yourself.

A well-wisher,

Rohan."

I stood there for a while, reading the words, twice, thrice till I completed 10 rounds maybe. I sank on the couch and stared at the ceiling. And I kept thinking about what went wrong.

But that was actually motivating enough for me to move on. Something heavy got lifted off my chest since I didn't need to blame myself anymore. Weeks went by like this. But an interesting thing started to happen. On every Sunday morning. Sharp at 10, I had a well-wisher ringing my doorbell and sticking a note with a smiley and something else.

Something else was Murakami or Shakespeare or Plato, or Socrates quotes with a chocolate cold coffee or ice cream or white lilies. It felt good to think that at least someone was interested in learning about me. Interesting!

This went on for weeks.

Next Sunday, when the doorbell rang, Rohan left me with this note. "Happiness is an allegory. “That’s how stories happen — with a turning point, an unexpected twist. There’s only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story.” I recognized it. It was from Kafka on the Shore. I kept thinking about it while I drank my cold coffee.

What type of story I was into? Can I really have a new beginning? And why was he going through all this painstaking?

I also realized that now I eagerly wait for Sunday mornings more than anything else. I have stopped reciting about my misery. So next Sunday, I got up way before 10 am and waited for the bell to ring. I kept pacing restlessly in my living room.

I heard footsteps near my door and raced towards it. I opened it before Rohan could have pressed it. I remembered saying nothing and slamming the cab door when I first saw him and to this day, opening the door before he rang it.

He wasn't expecting it, clearly. I took the note from his hand and looked at the white lilies he kept at his feet. "Can you put the lilies on the center table?" I asked Rohan.

He took a moment to realize that I was finally invited him in.

"Coffee?" I asked him.

"Huh? Umm okay." He replied hesitantly.

I went to my kitchen and read today's note. “Instead of resisting to changes, surrender. Let life be with you, not against you. If you think ‘My life will be upside down’ don’t worry. How do you know down is not better than upside?” Shams Tabrizi. I immediately recognized.

I returned with two coffee mugs. Rohan was putting all his efforts into arranging lilies in the vase. "Why do you like white lilies so much?" He asked.

I took a small sip and then replied, "because, unlike the rose, it has no thorns. It won't hurt you. Its aroma is not that strong. It's soothing. And you get them round the year. They don't leave you, see!"

"That's the sweetest thing you have said to me for the first time." He said and then we both started laughing. And I was embarrassed, of course.

"Well, you deserve it," I replied.

He sat on the couch and took his mug. "So?" I started this time.

"Last Sunday, you left a note about stories happening. So what type of story do you think I am having right now after all these turns and twists?"

"The story where this down will far better than the upside." He smiled. I noticed his dark eyes for the first time. There was something. Something good. But I can't tell what.

"Why are you doing this? Taking care of me silently and invisibly like I mean something to you?" I couldn't resist this time.

"Because I do care. You seriously didn't deserve any of that." He finished and took a sip from his mug. We drank in silence for a while.

"Okay then. Thanks for the coffee." Rohan got up and put his hands to push back the hairs falling over his eyes.

He began to leave but like a reflex, I held Rohan by his wrist. "Hey,"

Rohan got startled. "Yes?"

"I want THIS every Sunday, instead of those motivational quotes. I guess I am motivated enough."

Rohan stared directly into my eyes for the first time and then hugged me. Yep, it was brief and sudden, but I knew now that my story was finally beginning. And that my down's going to be far better than the upside.

And I finally had another story to write and recite.