Love Never Ends

"Passengers for flight 6E 2128 to Chennai, please go to Gate number 13..." I didn't hear the rest of the announcement. It was not my first time in the airport or something but, maybe, I was just too tired to go wherever I was going. My mind was completely occupied by the thoughts of my next few days in Kodaikanal. The man standing behind me gave a reassuring smile. I stepped forward for boarding.

I finally got myself seated in the aircraft and took a deep breath. I could hear my heart pounding too noisily. The plane took off in the next few minutes. I clutched the handles of my seat and started concentrating on the mini 3D images of the skyscrapers. I even tried playing a stupid mind game of guessing over which area we are flying right now. When my anxiety still refused to leave me alone, a drop of tear rolled down my cheeks. The same man held my palms and murmured, "Relax Sapna. It's just a trip. We will be in our own spaces." I looked into his eyes for the first time in a while and tried to search for the actual husband in him. Yes, he was my husband, Varun.

We both were forced by our parents for this trip as a last attempt to save our five years of courtship. A last attempt to save something which was not even there. With the last words of Varun hanging in the air, 'in our own spaces', I could already see my abode shattered into pieces as if it was made of some dried and crushed autumn leaves. He had already abandoned that shelter and it was me who was still clinging onto the remaining parts of whatever we had. Yes, I don't want us to go apart, but I don't have the energy left to prove or to convince that I am perfect and my love is still pure and unconditional.

I closed my eyes and made it shut tight and was still drifting in my thoughts when I felt a sudden jerk. I looked up and saw everyone panicking. There has been turbulence. Someone screamed that he would file a complaint against the airline and some more yelling. I never realized when my head felt heavy with the low oxygen, and the last thing I remember was Varun blabbering something, and I could not hear him.

I felt a soft hand and wetness on my face. I opened my eyes and saw Varun standing over me. "Are you okay Sapna? You got me so scared! Oh, thank God you didn't get any serious wounds." I tried opening my eyes properly. My head was thumping with pain. I was just about to raise my hand to hold my head when Varun stopped me, "No, no, no! You got your forehead banged on the table and then fainted. There's this little wound. There was a crash landing. Let's get down now. People are scared that the plane might start burning."

I twinned my fingers in his and clutched it hard. While getting up I managed to get back my voice and asked, "Where are we?"

He replied without looking at me, "From our destination, maybe too close or maybe so far!"

We got down from the plane. I glanced up at the sky first and then started examining the place. It was a dense forest near the seashore. The waves calmed me down. I always get an odd serenity whenever I am amid a cold breeze near the sea. But I still chose to go to the mountains because Varun loved the mountains. For him. For the last time. That's what I had explained to myself.

I noticed that I was still holding his hand. He didn't try to take it away. Two people in love always found face, eyes, voice, looks as romantically attractive. I found it in his hands when I fell for Varun. Those were not a particular man's hand, hard and stiff. Nor was too soft. Those hands were just perfect. Bigger than mine and with a subtle warmth. I used to caress those long fingers for hours in the old days. Before diving deeper into those reveries, I allowed him to let go of my hand and sat facing the sea.

I saw a lady crying badly. She was unable to call her family. And gradually, other people formed themselves in front of me. Everyone was distressed. The phones got no network. Stuck in an unknown place, people had two choices: either wait for a connection or grow a connection with the ones around them.

"When I said that I was scared, I was really scared. After all these years, after such a long time, I was scared that I would lose you." Varun said. I never noticed when he came and sat beside me.

I didn't reply for a long time.

"Why are we separating, Varun? Because we are bored of each other? Did we never love each other? Was everything a habit? Or did you find...." I tailed off. I thought I was choking.

"God, Sapna, no, I never had anyone except for you. It's just... I don't know. Love was there..."

"Was there?" I interrupted.

"You were right about the habit thing." Varun continued. "I was stuck in my routine. So were you. The loans, the house, the cars, the ambitions, we got everything and lost ourselves. I found it comfortable to take it out at home, my frustrations and stress, and everything negative. And you let me push you away. You had never said a word. I wonder what would have happened if you too fought instead of drifting away slowly."

I laughed suddenly. He was staring at me. "So you want me to fight and scream and argue? So that people would know there are not one, two insane psyches living in the house. Madmen's house? Where there's nothing but two people lying about themselves and ultimately become hypocrites like every third couple? I didn't want you to say that I suffocated you and behaved like a typical over obsessive wife. You were tired. You had your call." I realized I was spilling out my beans after ages.

He smiled. "Why are you so compromising?"

"Because that's what we do when in love, Varun. I don't know what's going on in your mind, but it never was 'own spaces' between us for me. It's always our space, our love, and our time. I...." I sighed.

Again the long awkward silence. I caught Varun staring at me. He was still waiting for me to finish. Deeply buried emotions had welled up in my chest. I would have just burst then. When I was sure that I was no more choking and was stable, I started again, "Don't go. You said that love was always there. That's just what I need. I never complained of anything else and will try not to in the future."

I said the whole thing without looking at him. The waves were just like my emotions. It came and returned silently. A big wave arrived, touched my feet with the freezing ocean, and went back, taking away all my emotion. We sat in silence for a long time.

Dusk arrived, and people who were panicking earlier now settled quietly and agreed to the fate. And I suddenly felt my stomach growling. I remembered myself eating last night. I skipped my breakfast because we were late for the flight. I searched my bag and took out a candy.

"You are hungry. Lemme get you something." Varun got up.

"What?" I asked this childish question. "Choco frappe and cheese dipped garlic bread." He laughed at his sarcastic answer, winked, and went away.

He returned with a banana and a few grapes that someone had shared. I took the banana and left the grapes for him. And finally, the wonder happened. A loud thud and whirling sound came from the woods. The disaster management team and the military came to rescue us. The helicopters were wandering above us. I felt no difference, though. I didn't mind sitting in that unseen and unheard place away from all the rush and chaos. With no real choice left, I got up and started gathering my things.

"Sapna!" Varun was gazing at me while I was going towards the rescue team.

"What?" I asked. His eyes were twinkling.

"Let's go to Port Blair from Chennai. You love the sea." He said calmly.

I got happy yet confused. I tried saying, "But we..."

"But you were ready to leave everything you love because I wanted." he interrupted. "And this is the least of the compromise I can do by giving you back what you love."

"The sea and me!" He was smiling ear to ear.

All I knew was this abandoned place saved my mansion from getting abandoned. I could not hear or see anything else except for him.

I hold his hand again, this time knowing I don't have to leave it.

After all, it was time to venture into the 2.0 version of our journey!