The Commute

Never in my life, I am late for work. That's a kind of a record I hold. People call me ambitious, overly punctual, boring Bla Bla Bla, but I like it that way. In my own pace and place, always in solitude stuck in a routine.

Today was a regular day, nothing unusual yet. I hurried and caught my metro of 8:45 towards Kashmiri Gate. The regular hustle-bustle. Half of the people were busy on their phones. The rest who had companions were having a serious and not-so-serious conversation. I was too greeted with few smiles from regular commuters. But then, for the first time in a while, something out of the routine happened. A new female passenger, I mean not a regular passenger of this metro at this time, boarded from Kohat Enclave and found a place half a step away from me.

Now, what was so strange about this? It was strange, because a bachelor like me, who had never focussed on anything except for results and performance, got attracted towards something else as well. She had something. She was something

I admired her for a while and then suddenly got attentive to the announcement. I had to get down at the next stop.

"Excuse me, lady!" I asked her.

No response.

A fellow passenger, who was also supposed to get down with me, shouted, "Madam!!! Please let us go!"

Still no response. She was as still as a statue. My admiration suddenly started to shift towards irritation because we were seconds away from reaching Kashmiri Gate. And others were having a nice joke to amuse themselves for the rest of the day.

Finally, a senior citizen clapped on her face and gestured something to her that I could not see. She moved her hair behind her ears, pulled out the Bluetooth Apple ear pods, and stared at me.

"Wow! Like our hearts would have burst out after screaming that loud, or this train could have turned upside down, but she would not have known because these earphones were all she could listen to! Nonsense generation!" An old lady commented, and I started laughing at the girl's innocence and misery. I excused myself and got down.

Her thoughts came back to me in bits and pieces at work, and at night I reminisced that scene again. She was tall, had long hair, and was wearing a mix and match Indo Western dress. I wondered! Was she a one-time commuter? Or a new in Delhi and will commute daily and board the same metro from now onwards? I pondered over my questions and retired to sleep.

But the next day turned out to be lucky. I didn't know why I got a little more than happy when I saw her boarding the same metro. I never did it before for anyone, but I made sure to make a little room around myself. She came and stood in front of me. This time, at a 90-degree angle, so that I could go towards the door without knocking or pushing her. She remembered yesterday's instance, I guessed. But the Bluetooth pods were intact on her ears. I nodded and smiled.

In the office, my colleague, who sat next to my cubicle, caught me staring at the screen blankly. He startled me by banging on the cubicle walls and mocked, "Why, sir? Where are you so lost? Got a fairy in the fairyland?"

I made a face, frowned, and continued with my work. "I am not saying bad!" He continued, "You can have interest in something else, or someone else, other than figures, you know!"

"Really? Thanks for letting me know!" I snapped, and he went away.

This chronology continued for quite a few weeks. One of the answers I got, that she was also a regular commuter, like me, boarding the same metro, almost meeting every other day. On some days, she was in another compartment or somewhere else. But we caught glances at least once. Because we both preferred boarding the first compartment since they are comparatively less crowded and people are lazy to walk till the end of the platforms.

A long weekend was approaching. It was mid-August, and the Hindu calendar announced a long series of festivals. As far as I remember, it was Janmashtami on Friday, Independence day on Saturday, and then Sunday. I was lucky to get a seat. She entered and stood near the door. She caught me staring at her, and I blushed. The man sitting beside me got up, and she sat next to me. Before I could turn towards her, she held one of the pieces of her ear pods and offered it to me. We both smiled. I took it and plugged it in my right ear.

"Hi! I am Anya!" She introduced herself and shook hands.

"Hi! I am Varun." Before I completed my part of the introduction, she had increased the volume and looked at the other end. This girl can't survive a single minute without her music or pods, I wondered.

Now we got into a new routine. Anya would smile at me, we would stand next to each other, now purposely, and I would listen to her playlist for complete 20 minutes. I still didn't know how far she traveled. Where did she get down? What did she do? Anya too might have assumed some sort of story in her mind and didn't try changing that.

"You like her. She shares her ear pods with you. You know her taste of music and at which broad area she might be dwelling! Hmm, interesting information." My childhood best friend commented when I shared with him one day.

"Yeah, so?" I replied without any expressions.

"She never heard your name when you tried telling your name on the first day. She never tried learning what you do. She may have a vague idea where you work but doesn't know where you live!"

"Again, yes! Now, will you please consider telling me where you are getting at?" I retorted in irritation.

"And this has been going for six months now?" He asked, and this time I was annoyed for real.

"Fine, I am going." I started to leave.

"And you will always be a moron even if you leave. There must be 500 Anyas in Kohat Enclave. You share ear pods but couldn't even think of sharing facebook or Instagram handles. You didn't exchange anything, but you keep on waiting for that 20 minutes commute every day." He snapped. I didn't have anything to say.

"You ought to promise me you would ask her at least one of these questions tomorrow!" he ordered me, "Now you know why I keep on saying your marks are of no use! Idiot."

The next day, before taking the pods from her, I managed to gain all my courage and asked, " Where do you work?"

She got startled by the interruption. "Janakpuri." She replied in one word.

"Ohh!" I replied and then put the pods in my ears.

My introverted nature started giving me frustrations. I had always defined myself in boundaries. No friends, no hangouts till I got over with my studies, nothing. Just one or two friends to share critical thoughts. Never did I learn how to convey feelings or deliver thoughts.

One day I refused to take the ear pod when she gave it to me. I just nodded in a no. She didn't even bother to ask why and continued with her hustle. It was even more annoying.

My misery and helplessness affected my work as well. My performance degraded.

"Mr. Varun!" said that same colleague, assessing my level of despair, "Whoever is it, whatever is it, why don't you just go and express everything?"

I looked at him. I wanted to deny whatever he said but was too tired to defend or counterargue. "Because I don't know how to," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"You just have to say it once. If she gives a heads up, you will be free of all this tension and focus again on work. If she says no, you can move forward and focus again on work. Cut the chase, for heaven's sake, my shy friend!" He gave the entire lecture in a single breath and went inside.

I repeated his words in my mind and thought of something. That night, I sat down to write a letter, expressing my feelings for Anya. I wrote my first draft and called my friend.

"It's 2 am bro, what happened, all okay?" he asked while yawning.

"Oh! I am so sorry to wake you up, but you have to listen to me and tell me if it's sounding alright." I replied and read the entire piece in one go.

"Is this a love letter or 2nd grade leave application your dad used to write in your school diary? Absolutely rubbish! Failed! Negative marking with E grade. Huh"

"Thanks, teacher! I will try to improve my grades in the next semester." I snapped back and disconnected.

But was it that bad? I wrote another one, then another one, and then another one, and decided to finalize the 9th draft.

"Dear Anya,

I fell for you the moment I saw you in the 8:30 metro for the first time. You are as musical as those Jagjit Singh ghazals you listen to in your Apple pods. The way you never part from your ear pods, I imagine how colorful and melodious your life is. We hardly know each other (I am not even sure if you had heard my name that day after you introduced yourself).

I like you in a different way. Can we be something together?

Yours sincerely,

Varun"

It sounded okay. The next day, when she came and stood near me, I managed to slip the note into her handbag and escaped. And yes, I didn't share her ear pods since that day.

But my heart sank at the very thought of this idiotic idea of slipping note. What if she loses it? What if she doesn't even read it? Worse still, what if she gets offended? These thoughts haunted me the entire day.

I couldn't sleep that night, wishing the morning never comes. But the morning came. The next day came. But, Anya didn't come. For the first time, she wasn't there. At Kashmiri Gate station, I tried my best to get a glimpse of her from the windows of a rapidly moving metro train. I couldn't discover anything.

I started getting disappointed in myself.

"It must be a coincidence, my friend. She might have got some urgent work." Consoled my colleague.

"Tell me you gave that school application style letter, and I am going to break your skull into pieces!" Snapped my friend.

"No, I did not!" I said with disappointment in my voice.

"Leave it to your destiny then. Either she too needs time, or it's a no! Don't worry, I will book you better dates on Tinder or Bumble." He laughed and left.

Another couple of days passed, and I didn't get to see her shadow.

Though after one week, something happened. I got down at Kashmiri Gate station and while going down the escalator for the yellow line metro, a familiar female voice whispered in my ears.

"By the way, who the hell on this earth writes 'yours sincerely' on a love letter?"

I turned back immediately and found Anya standing one step up on the escalator. She smiled ears to ears. And I felt like I got back my life.

"You never told me that you too like ghazals? I always thought you were doing me a favor and finally got bored of it. That's why you refused to take it anymore." Anya said while we were walking past the crowd. She ran her fingers through my hand, and I held them tight.

"I was annoyed!" I replied with the truth.

"With the ghazals or me?" She gave a mischievous smile.

"Umm, with myself more, I guess. You look better without your Bluetooth ear pods. I wanted to say this but, I couldn't." She laughed.

"But you have got no choice." She replied and kept her one ear pod in my hand.

I smiled and plugged in. And a new song reverberated in my ears and in my life...